osewalrus (osewalrus) wrote,
osewalrus
osewalrus

The Vile Wretchedness That Was "Bluestar Kosher."

Sometimes, a restaurant is so awful it surpases even the low expectations I usually bring to a local kosher restaurant. Such was Bluestar Kosher, the new Kosher burger place in Rockville. No restaurant in my recollection has done such an excellent job of arousing my inner Gordon Ramsey.


Arrived at about 6:30. They save money by having you order at cash register and pick up your own orders. They had a *single* person working cash register for dinner President's Day. Mind you, this was, apparently, the only person who spoke English in the restaurant. no one spoke Hebrew.

The language barrier means that any questions you have about the menu items or service, or any complaints or changes, must go through the one person working the register/taking orders. If she leaves to attend to anything, then no one is taking orders and the line (already ridiculously long) backs up further.

You must keep your receipt, as it has your order # and you must present it to claim your order. All items on the same receipt will be provided at the pick up counter (which is the same counter as the register, so you will need to elbow your way past customers waiting to order), and all items will be provided *simultaneously*. Don't bother to order an appetizer, as it will arrive with your main and everyone else's main.

While you wait interminably, you will be jammed packed into the limited dining area with other customers. The crowding ensures you will hear everyone else's conversation, but you may not hear when your number is called summoning you to pick up your items. Fortunately, you will have a very long time (we waited 45 minutes) before you need to worry about getting back up again. Service is provided on plastic plates, but the food requires no better setting.

Rebecca Feld ordered a "loaded potato" and a "Grand Burger," which supposedly has spicy sausage (more like sliced hot dogs) and an egg (yolk broken running when it arrived) with sweet potato fries. Aaron Feld ordered spicy wings and a Barbecue Burger with shoestring fries. I order the "Adam's Ribs," beef spare ribs with corn bread (selecting mashed potatoes and coleslaw as sides).

They refused to take any orders for "rare" insisting that everything started at medium and moved up to well done. Based on our experience, however, I think "overcooked" is pretty much all they know.

My ribs were dry, tough and flavorless. The sauce was dried to the rib, perhaps a consequence of staying under a heat lamp while everything else was assembled. The lack of a steak knife did not improve matters. The mashed potatoes were adequate. The coleslaw was utterly flavorless and shredded so thoroughly as to lack all texture. Also, coleslaw should have things in it other than simply green cabbage and bad generic mayonnaise.

Aaron's "spicy wings" were fried and pretty flavorless, with a hint of commercial tabasco sauce in the batter (no fake ranch or other dipping sauce). Aaron's burger was overdone, the "shoestring" fries were, as best we could determine, simply poorly made soggy regular fries.

The one real achievement on this was something I have never seen in a kosher restaurant -- a lack of salt. Since they did not believe in making salt and/or pepper shakers available to the patrons, this made the meal not merely hard and flavorless, but bland beyond belief.

Becky's "Grand Burger" was supposed to have "spicy sausage," which appeared to be sliced bad quality kosher hot dogs. The sweet potato fries were soggy. They ran out of loaded potatoes so Becky did not need to trouble herself about it.

All this was served on the cheapest plastic plates imaginable, in a setting that was -- if possible -- even blander and less inviting than the food.

Bluestar Kosher needs to be put out of our misery as quickly as possible. Patronize at your peril. You have been warned.
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