This Is The Onion-verse
I've decided I fell through a dimensional vortex at some point and am now stranded in the "Onion-verse." The Onion-verse is where The Onion is actually doing serious reporting. It's like a cross between the Star Trek "Mirror Universe" and "Bizarro World" from Superman.
Case in point, this story from Politico in which incumbent Rep. Joe Walsh (R-Ill) complains that his opponent, Tammy Duckworth, a veteran who lost both legs in Iraq but who nevertheless still serves in the Ill National Guard, of "talking too much about her military service."
Case in point, this story from Politico in which incumbent Rep. Joe Walsh (R-Ill) complains that his opponent, Tammy Duckworth, a veteran who lost both legs in Iraq but who nevertheless still serves in the Ill National Guard, of "talking too much about her military service."