osewalrus (osewalrus) wrote,
osewalrus
osewalrus

Some final thoughts on my car getting broken into . . .

My car was broken into last night because I forgt to to take in my iPod. A thief apparently saw it in the front seat, broke the window, and made off with the iPod and some other items. If I were the RIAA, my response to getting my car robbed would be:

1) Berate the cop who answered my call for not stopping the crime before it happened.

2) When the cop told me that I could reduce the likelihood of future car break-ins by keeping electronics hidden, shout at the cop for "supporting theft." After all, I have a prefect right to keep my iPod in my car, prominently displayed if I want. How dare this cop tell me to change my behavior to avoid getting robbed!

3) Later, I would try to get the cop who advised me on how to avoid future car break-ins fired for "abetting car thieves." I would conduct a public smear campaign in which I accused this cop of being in bed with thieves, fences, and other nefarious dealers in stolen goods because he "supports theft" by advising me how to avoid future car break-ins.

4) I would lobby the Montgomery County Council to place a 24/7 guard on my driveway so I can leave my iPod in the front seat. I would also insist on a video surveillance system and fingerprinting for anyone who comes with 500 feet of my car. Any neighbors who complain about what a waste of tax payer money this is, or that it invades their privacy, or that they don't like giving fingerprints to police to protect my right to leave my iPod in the front seat "support theft" and deserve the smear treatment.

5) I would give $1 million in donations to any County Council rep who votes for my proposals. I will give the same amount to the opponents of any County Council member who even suggests that my proposals are a little extreme and maybe I ought to just put my iPod in the glove compartment.
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