osewalrus (osewalrus) wrote,

Actual words to Wheeler's poem from last night.

'Twas the night before argument, and back at his home,
My poor general counsel sits, fretting alone;
The statute is hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that it gives him author’ty to spare;

While you all are here for FCBA,
Trying to find some new clients that pay,
The brave Mr. Sallet does not make a peep,
As he wonders if he’ll ever fall fast asleep-

Then out on Jon’s lawn there arose such a clatter,
He sprang from his desk to see what was the matter.
When, what to his skeptical eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight mighty rein-deer,

With a majestic driver, so lively and quick,
Jon knew at this moment that he was in slick.
The reindeer were called out by name:
On Markey! On Eshoo! And Etsy the same!

On Tumblr! Free Press and ACLU!
On Yelp, on Twitter and ALA too!
On Google and Facebook – oh what’s that you say?
Oh well, they must have been busy that day….

Down the chimney the driver came quick, as he yelled:
“I am the all-powerful force…Harold Feld!”
“I am an intervenor and I’ve come with amici,
We are here to keep the Net open and free,

A bundle of case law he flung off his back,
With passages ordered in line of attack.
He stroked the beard on his chin (which was not white as snow),
And set out how he thought the argument should go.

Then with a wink of his eye, a twist of his head,
Back to the roof, no more he said.

Friends, that is the story I brought you to share,
Of course, none of us know how tomorrow will fare,
But in keeping with the joyous spirit we see tonight,
Happy arguments to all, … but the left is in the right!


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