Alternative Movie Synopsis
Hat tip to Hebrew Hammercock for the idea.
In a plot to abandon her people and leave them leaderless in the face of their enemy, a young princess uses dark magic to transform her mother and brothers into bears -- then tricks her father and his allies into hunting them.
A man engages in a murderous game of hide and seek to win back his estranged wife.
A handful of civilians places a delicate first contact situation at risk by violating government security to demand their own private meeting with the aliens.
"This exciting period travel film takes us from the Andes to Mongolia to Egypt as we explore the fascinating world of archeology and the post-exhumation market for antiquities, finishing with final campfire on a small Mediterranean island.
"As the sun sinks slowly into the west, we bid a fond Aloha to Dr. Jones and our band of colorful tour guides. Oh look, Dr. Balosh has planned one last surprise for us. He certainly looks colorful in that traditional native garb he's wearing . . . ."