July 24th, 2015

PK Icon

Encountered One Of Most Annoying Arguments Again

A friend on Fcebook posted her dissapointment with a self-proclaimed progressive artist of the male gender. Artist Guy was going on about the old canard that men cannot really be friends with women, because the man will always be wanting to have sex with the woman.

There is a Pearl Before Swine Sunday Strip on that I was trying to find.

But anyway, I find much of this very annoying for very many reasons. As a starter, I have many friends. They come in many shapes, colors, sexual oreintations and genders. As far as I know, I have never tried to have sex with any of them -- and I'm pretty sure I'd know if I had. Having blanket statements that are invalidated by my own life always anoys me. This more than most because people who believe this cliche then circulate endless rumors and it can occassionally poison a friendship when a woman is persuaded by her friends that of course I must have designs in her if I am that friendly and helpful and so forth.

So, for those who still can't believe that a straight/bi guy cannot be real friends with a stright/bi woman, consider the following:

Collapse )

OK, rant done. To conclude, the "men can't really be friends with women because te man will always want to have sex" is one of many contributors to rape culture and sexism. Indeed, it is one of the fundamental justifications, because it has the appeal of reducing the male responsibility to control his actions. "Evolutionarily hard wired, can't fight the urge!" It should no more be tolerated or indulged than any other form such idea.

A man who cannot stop thinking of sex all the time, who wants to have sex with any woman with whom he feels a vague emotional connection, is not a "normal guy." He is at best immature and at worst obssessive and self-privileged to the point of danger. We should not as a culture tolerate this -- even expect it -- as the male norm.