osewalrus (osewalrus) wrote,
osewalrus
osewalrus

New Filk: What Will Hillary Clinton Do?

I keep envisioning Cartman, Kyle, Stan and Kenny from South Park as cable talking heads, asking each other over and over "what will Hilary Clinton do?" Until they burst into song.



Stan:
What will Hilary Clinton do
If she wins big today?
Will she bow out or follow through?
What will Hilary Clinton do?

Kyle
When Hilary Clinton was seen today somewhere outside Butte
What exactly did she signal with a charcoal gray pantsuite?

Cartman:
When I shoved a mic in Clinton's face at a rally in Pierre
I asked if she called Obama a black horse's derriere!

Spoken:
Stan: "She really said that?"
Cartman: "Well, maybe not so much. Really it was more like 'Hey! Fat boy! Get that microphone out of my cleavage or my secret service gaurds will kick you in the balls.' But, I figured i'd double check because, you know, it would have been damaghing if she had said it."
Kyle: "Dammit Cartman! You can't just make something like that up."
Kenny: MMMmmmmmm
Cartman: That's right Kenny, Kyle doesn't understand about reporting. I just asked if she said it.
Stan: It would certainlty be damaging if she had said it!
Cartman: Yes, lets talk about how damaging it would have been if she actually said it.
Kyle: No! We are not going to talk about how damaging it would have been if Hillary Clinton had said something that we all know she didn't say!
Cartman: Kyle, I swear, if Jews didn't run the media you would be so out of a job.
Stan & Kyle: SHUT UP Cartman!

[resume singing]

What will Hillary Clinton do if she's forced out today?
If she wins one state but can't win two?
What will Hillary Clinton do?

Cartman:
I need innuendoes for TV
I need weasel words for my vocabulary?

Kyle:
And I just want my Momma to stop cursing out Obama.

Stan:
Why bother with what is false or true
When we can ask what'll Hilary Clinton do?

All:
So lets keep on speculating
Talking heads or screaming blogs
Want rumors? We'll unleash a few
On what might Hillary Clinton do

Is it news or bullshit over brew
To ask what will Hillary Clinton do?

What will Hillary Clinton do?
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