5. Your new name will be "Shaquillah"
4. I told you voter fraud works better than voter surpression. You owe me a $1.
3. What, all the 'real' Americans forgot to vote?
2. You're still here? I thought you'd be out mobilizing with your militia already.
And the #1 thing to say to those who were insufferable after the 2004 election is:
1. Three words: Permanent . . . Democratic . . . . Majority . . . .