osewalrus (osewalrus) wrote,

What I Expect w/Whitacker in the Driver's Seat

Former AT&T CEO Ed Whitacre is taking over GM.

What I expect to see:

From now on, you will no longer be able to buy a GM. You can only lease it, and the dealer can change the terms -- including lease rate -- at any time.

"See, all those family members and friends, they think they can drive in my cars for free. That's crazy. From now on, anytime anyone wants to ride in one of my cars, they pay."

Your speedometer will read 55, although most of the time you will only get up to about 40 and occasionally drop to 30. But sometimes, when you are driving at 2 a.m., your car will inexplicably go at 80.

You will only be able to buy approved accessories. Happily, GM will certify over fifty different truck nuts as compatible with your SUV.

You will be able to download your own horn blast, but it will cost you $5.

GM reserves the right to monitor everywhere you drive so they can sell your information to third parties for marketing.

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