Girl: Mommy, does Jesus want us to lie?
Mom (somewhat scandalized): No!
Girl: Does Jesus want us to blame others for our sins?
Mom: Of course not!
Girl: Does Jesus want us to take bribes and do special favors for our friends?
Girl: Does Jesus want me to talk about sex on the internet with grown ups?
Mom: No! Why would you even think such things?!
Girl: Then why do you and Daddy keep saying Jesus wants us to vote Republican?
Vote Republican [barking dog] Good Girl!